Throughout the last two weeks, one constant topic that keeps coming up in my conversations is the importance of sound support systems, specifically, having good friends, homegirls, bros, and best friends.
They help you get through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the best moments life has to offer us!
Although friends can be great, it can be hard to know whom to trust and whom to kick the curb.
TLC said it is best, "What about your friends? Will they stand their ground? Or, will they let you down?" (TLC, 1992)
And, y'all, it's the truth!
Some friends out here want to see you succeed, and some so-called friends want to see you fall flat on your face so they can laugh.
Some friends want to cheer you on and will have your back.
And, some so-called friends will only stay connected to you because of your connections.
Sometimes choosing friends is just as hard as deciding your next hairstyle.
Or even sometimes choosing the right person to file your taxes with the United States government.
Friends can be the best decision you make or the worst one.
Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, we must be wise in our choices with those we decide to keep company with because not everyone is meant to eat at the same table as you!
As a result, it might be time to go through your Rolodex of contacts and ensure those surrounding you are encouragers and not wasting your time!
Because time is money! And, nobody deserves their precious time wasted by others!
In my conversations these past two weeks, I thought about the friends I chose to surround myself with daily.
Although, no one is perfect. My homegirls and homeboys feed my soul and make sure I am always on the right track!
Being in grad school is hard enough! Working a job is hard enough. And don't get me started on trying to pursue my dreams outside of that!
Therefore, having good friends is necessary!
Friends that pray for you!
Friends that encourage you!
Friends that love you!
Friends that are down for whatever!
Friends that want to see you win!
Friends that support your passions!
Friends that show up and show out!
But, as important as it is for you to have good friends, you have to be a good friend too!
You have to offer reciprocity to others as well!
So, I flip the same questions TLC offered us on you.
Will you stand your ground for others?
Will you let them down?
Or, will you be supportive and help hold them down in moments of darkness?
Friends are the best things you can have next to family.
And, sometimes your friends are your family!
So, make sure you're pruning those friends who don't need to be in your life.
Watch out for those who are using you for what you can offer.
Make sure you are being a friend who cares for your other friends.
Don't forget to check on your "Strong friends"!
Don't forget to check on your friends whom you haven't heard from recently.
And, don't forget that sometimes there will be challenging moments with your friends.
We are all going through things.
So, instead of getting upset with your friends that they haven't called you in two weeks.
Call them and check up on them. You never know what your friends could be going through.
September is Suicide Prevention Month! Therefore, I beg you to check on the ones you love!
You never know what one phone call, text, or simple emoji can do to make a difference in your friends' lives.
Instead of jumping to a conclusion!
Ask!
Show love!
Forgive!
Be understanding!
And, hear one another out!
Friends are in our lives for many reasons. Some are meant to last forever, some only a few moments, some to teach us a lesson, and some to bring us joy.
Therefore, place your friends accordingly. Understand that not all friends can cross paths, and that's okay!
There will be friends for the club!
Friends for the boardroom!
Friends for the luxury living!
Friends for Sunday morning at Church!
And, friends to try new things out with on the weekends!
Take your time choosing your village.
Be wise in whom you allow to have access to you!
And, always remember your friends reflect you!
I will see you in two weeks with a juicy hot topic to address!
Peace + Prosperity as Always,
Jadis DeShong-Venay
References:
TLC. (1992). What About Your Friends [Recorded by TLC]. On Ooooooohhh...On the TLC Tip [CD]. Atlanta, GA: LaFace.