Ladies and Gentlemen, every year, the President of the United States offers an address entitled the State of the Union to a joint session of Congress.
During this discussion, the President provides Congress with information and recommends ideas he deems necessary and profitable!
This course of action offers insight into some of the most critical topics in our society currently.
Therefore, taking inspiration from the many Presidents who have come before, I think we should host our own State of the Union on Black Love!
After watching, Lena Waithe's newest episode of The Chi, I immediately went to Instagram to process what I had seen occur between Emmett/Tiff and Jada/Darnell.
Spoiler Alert: If you have not seen The CHI's latest episode, pause reading here and check it out. Once you have, come back so you can indulge in this monumental conversation.
In The CHI this w
eek, we see Emmett, a Black man who has been given opportunity after opportunity to get it together, embrace his fatherhood and move toward a more positive trajectory.
But, only after discovering that the former love of his life (Tiff) is no longer interested in waiting around for him to improve.
While on the other hand, we watch love be rekindled (possibly) between Emmett's mother (Jada) and father (Darnell).
Darnell, who took a little bit to get himself together, is finally ready to be what Emmett's mother (Jada) needed all those years before.
And while the son is experiencing a loss of love, the mother is finally receiving the things she once wished her former lover would provide.
Although the CHI is a TV show, it plays a pivotal role in the Black community. Offering insight into what it is like to grow up in Chicago, Waithe provides her audience a real glimpse into what it is like to be a Black person in America.
But more importantly, it provides insight into what it is like to be Black and in love.
Come on, y'all, I know there is a lover out there that couldn't get their stuff together that you still think about and wonder if you had given another chance, how would things turn out.
Now, this is not a post to tell you to try again with someone who may not be conducive for you, but rather to think about where the state of Black love in 2022 is?
Are we giving second chances to one another?
Are we expecting women or men to put up with things they shouldn't have to, like cheating, poor communication, and years of inconsistency?
Are we leaving room for people to make mistakes?
Are we closing chapters that, maybe if in a perfect world, shouldn't be completed?
Are we giving up on love?
A man called into The Breakfast Club on Monday and told Angela Yee, Charlemagne Tha God, and DJ Envy that had his old lady given him another chance, she might have seen the growth he made.
But, it left me to wonder are we taking too long to provide our lovers with what they need?
Are we not offering them all that we can be?
Are we taking too long to become what we set out to be?
Is Black love under attack?
And, if it is, why are we not doing better?
Kings, why are you not taking your rightful places and providing what your other needs?
Queens, why are we settling for things that are less than our worth?
Kings, why are you not stating what you need from your partners?
Queens, why are we not hearing when the other person to speaks to us?
Kings, why are we not being vulnerable?
Kings & Queens, why are we not being receptive to new types of love?
Because from my point of view and what I sometimes see on Instagram, it seems Black love is under attack!
And, I want to get to the root of it because Black love is something beautiful!
Knowing you have someone in your corner to rock with you through thick and thin.
To help you pick up the pieces and to deal with absurdities associated with adulthood is a pretty lovely thang.
Love is not easy. I suggest reading the disclaimer before testing the waters.
But love can be something so beautiful and pure.
Y'all know what I mean. Y'all know that feeling of butterflies in your stomach.
And, everybody asking you what's got you smiling at your phone?
Come on, y'all, tell me what's going on.
Why are we not staying together?
Why are we not embracing one another?
Why are we giving up?
How can we learn from Tiff/Emmett and Jada/Darnell so that we don't make the same mistakes missing out on something worth the wait?
Because I know it's stressful dealing with another human being their thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and don't get me started on things that make you tick.
But, If we ignored all that and saw into their inner beauty, could we create black love?
I know it's hot girl and city boy summer, but the winter is coming!
Cuffing season is upon us!
And while I am not telling you a relationship has to be defined by a title, I am telling you to be honest with what you want.
Please don't settle for something out of convenience because you already know you aren't feeling it deep down.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please choose wisely whom you spend and build time with because it will impact you.
But, don't be afraid to let Black love win!
We are already under attack. Don't let the enemy beat us at our own game!
Be like Darnell and go after what you want!
Be like Tiff and never settle!
Be like Jada and be open to experiences!
And, be like Emmett, bettering yourself until the next great love comes!
Thank you for attending my state of the Union on Black Love! I hope today you will start the journey of loving someone again!
Peace + Prosperity as Always
I will see you all in two weeks!
Jadis DeShong-Venay
P.S. If You'd Like To Continue This Conversation, Head Over to IHateAdulthood's Instagram Page, We Will Be Having a Small Gathering Over There! (@IHateAdulthood)
Bibliography:
Brady, R. (Writer), & Kindred, K. N. (Director). (2022). Title of episode [This Christmas]. In L. Waithe (Producer), The Chi. Burbank, California: Disney Platform Distribution.
"Get it Off Your Chest." The Breakfast Club. WWPR-FM Power 105. 1. New York City, 11. July. 2022. Radio.